|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| new xanga- ska_nerdette
new aim sn- SKa NeRDeTTe
bleh | | |
|  | Currently Playing
Anthem
By Less Than Jake
Track 13- The Brightest Bulb Has Burned Out
see related |
here is my SOD...this is kinda how I feel right now...fuck I need to cheer up
Less Than Jake- The Brightest Bulb Has Burned Out
You told me that your 20 years have gone by much too fast
And you've been hoping this year will be better than the last
You said you've been waging a war against the loneliest of nights
With the strongest drinks and longest lines
It's not that big a surprise
That you're feeling more dead than alive
You're feeling more dead than alive
Chorus-
So I'll let you know
If you need, somewhere to go
I'll be listening when you call
And I'll be there if you fall off
If you need someone to believe in you,
I'll let you know I will
You said the hole in your head
Has gotten bigger than the hole in your chest
And you're stuck between the past and present tense
You said you've been waging a war against so many years of lies
With stronger drinks and longer lines
It's not that big a surprise
That you're feeling more dead than alive
You're feeling more dead than alive
Chorus | | |
| hello...
umm...I hate my life...I don't know why but I am very very depressed right now...like...I don't know.
past 24 hours-
hung out with Watson until 5:15 when he went home. I took his track bag home with me cuz he didn't wanna carry it home. He's lucky I love him so damn much teehee. Anyway...my dad came and we went and got pizza and then just chilled at "home" all night. I talked to Nick for a bit and then crashed (waking up every 2 hours as usual). I woke up around 4 AM crying and I don't know why. I stayed up then until 6 contemplating suicide. Things are really getting to me again. I'm starting to crack again man...
*sigh* anyway then this morning I made a cappucino as always and my dad drove me to school.
Spanish- boring
Algebra- ok I guess...I'm actually understanding it finally
Amer. Stud.- ok I guess...lots of notes
Vis. Perf. Arts- did some research for my instrument project. Then when we went back to the class I heard my name mentioned by either Brittany, Justine or one of the people they were sitting with. I am getting fed up with this shit man. I mean...Idk...I feel like they look down on me ya know? Like they think that they are so much better then me. I HATE that. That is the main reason I stopped hanging with them. But w/e
Lunch- well I was pissed off and depressed after VPA but Kitt cheered me up a bit. What would I do w/o her?
Science- well actually I missed half the block cuz I went to see this rep. from The Philli Art Institute. It was really awesome. After that I went to Science but I had missed most of class...w00t!
anyway...uhh...yeah...I had Creative Writing today. It was cool...everyone like my character analysis (we are doing a frame story...go to www.xanga.com/creative_writing_club for more info.). My character is like a bisexual chick who was raised by her gay brother b/c their parents were mauled by bears and she suffers from tourettes and shit. cool rite?
anyway...I chilled with Kitt and Carter for a bit and then headed over here. Halfway here I got uber depressed again. Idk...violent mood swings. *sigh* anyway...I have a fucking therapist appointment tonight. ugh...
well uh..yeah...I guess I'll go. bye all | | |
| hello fucktarts
so yesterday my dad finally showed up a lil before 6 and we drove David home. I got uber pissed at my dad though on the way home. I finally spazzed out and told him how I feel. Now he is back to the idea of saving up for an apt. And within a week and a half he'll change his mind again. Place your bets ppl! How long do you think it will be before he changes his mind again? I told him that if things don't look up then I'm out of here. Either to go live in SC, or when I'm 16 I'll get emancipated. Here is a convo btween me and Nick about it-
PuRiFieDPoiSoN69 (3:39:16 PM): he is just so...I don't know...I mean, I know he cares, at least thats what everyone tells me...and I think that he's trying but...its just not enough
PuRiFieDPoiSoN69 (3:39:31 PM): i'm never going back to my moms, but I don't think that I can live here either
CantSufferEnough (3:39:31 PM): maybe he's going through a hard time too
PuRiFieDPoiSoN69 (3:39:44 PM): i know he is...but...this was even before we got kicked out
PuRiFieDPoiSoN69 (3:40:09 PM): he has done an immense job of letting me down since January...or at least June
CantSufferEnough (3:41:03 PM):  hang in there av
PuRiFieDPoiSoN69 (3:41:31 PM): I'm trying so hard
I've been wanting to say that stuff for awhile^^^finally I got the chance. Anyway, I pretty much avoided him again. I just hung out in "my" room all night. Around 9:30 Max called. That's right...HE called ME!! *gasp*. We talked until around 10 or so. Then I got into the shower and crashed.
this morning I woke up...made a Capp...yum!!. I drank most of it on my way to school and the rest in my first block. My day was very...bleh-
1st block A- BORING!!
1st block B- boring AND confusing!!
2nd block- Mr. F had his daughters there. They wsre sooo cute!!! They were there up until we started our test (which I only got 1 wrong on bitches!)
3rd block- pretty boring, although we did read 2 articles for SSR. One was on Green Day's new cd- American Idiot and the other was on the tour that REM and Pearl Jam are on. Turnin ppl against the shrub aka Bush. We actually had a somewhat political discussion and shit. Kinda cool...especially for VPA.
Lunch- it was alright actually. Kitt and David were actually...GETTING ALONG!! Is the D and K war over?? God I hope so. The only real bad part about lunch was that Wes sat at our table. Ugh I hate him. But oh well. Then on my way to 4th block I was thinking about my dad and all this shit and I got uber depressed. Thank god I saw Watson. He gave me a hug and made me feel a lil better
4th Block- super boring as always. We had a pop-quiz. I only got 2 wrong (out of 10 and then I got the bonus right).
and yeah...now I'm here. Stuck in my blahnezz existence. so uhh yeah...I was listening to Anti-Flag- Anatomy Of Your Enemy on my way here and I realized that the lines that the dude screams at the end of the song are also being screamed in the background during the speaking parts of the song. So cool. Ok well anyway...uh...I'm gonna go for a bit. ttyl all. as long as I don't kill myself
| | |
| hello all...umm...life sucks...and so do families
yesterday after getting off, getting coffee mix at Giant and going home, I decided to call my mom (she called Sat. night but I wasn't home). She was actually...WORRIED about me...either that or she does a good acting job. She kinda pissed me off at parts though. Especially the statement- you're living in an episode of the Jerry Springer show. actually...here is her email to me-
It was good to talk to you, I'm glad you are OK. Just remember this isn't you or Andrew's problem, its your dad's & B's. Unfortunately, you & Andrew are just along for the ride. I think its a good idea for you to call me on a regular basis, Monday evenings are good for me so I'll expect you to call me Mondays.
Oh I forgot to tell you that Tara left Devonwood, after 11 years, she got a better offer. And Polly is no longer there I am riding Memphis (he's a privately owned horse that they rent out from the owner) I can't remember what the new instructor's name is, but she & Wendy are doing the lessons now.
Also please call me as soon as you move back, if you living conditions (or anything major like that) change again I need to know from you or your father immediately, not through the Atown gossip vine.
I was very sad to learn that things have not been going well for quite some time. I do hope things improve, I am very concerned about what has happened & what is happening now.
I love you
^^^there ya go...things like that make me wonder if I made the right decision....but then I remember how awful she is in person and I know that I did...sorta...staying there wasn't right but I don't think moving up here is either...what to do what to do...ugh...I hate my life. Anyway...so I talked to my mom a bit, then I called Nick up cuz I needed some therapy...I talked to his sister too...she is uber cool. After I got off with Nick I went downstairs to get my laundry and my Aunt Jean told me all this shit that happened with Bdette and my dad over the weekend and how we may not go back. I am so pissed off!! Everyone is fucking with my head, one day we aren't going then we are then we aren't then we are, etc. FUCKNESS!!!
ugh...anyway...this morning I made Iced Cappucino, put it in a water bottle and drank it in my first block (1A was cold as fuck man!!). Yum! nothing really happened all day. Kitt was on a feild trip so I didn't see her until the end of the day. She was spazing cuz the diner wouldn't give her a 4th cup of coffee. It was funny as hell. Her friend Kelly took us to Dunkin Donuts though for coffee. Yumm !!! haha...apples....lol (kitt will know what I mean)...
ok well anyway...I came here then and hung outside with Watson for awhile and then David and his gf showed up and we all stood outside laughiing and singing and shit. Fun. and now me and David are here waiting for my dad. so uh..yeah....I can't think right now so I'm gonna go...bye all!
| | |
|
|
